HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all the Moms, Step-moms, Aunts, Mentors, Coaches and Mommy figures!
Last Mother’s Day when my son was 6 months old my husband got me a coffee mug that said, “I’m a Mom. What’s your super power?” This little quote was the best gift and description of summing up Motherhood into a bumper sticker.
I look back on those first few months with a newborn and there were moments when I felt like I was wearing a superhero cape- bouncing on a yoga ball, singing Charlie to sleep and returning work emails in the middle of the night. I was tapping into inner strength I had no idea existed.
Now as we are entering the toddler phase of life with an 18- month-old there are days my cape feels tattered and torn. This past Easter I got Charlie all ready for his first Easter egg hunt, pulled into the parking lot and realized I forgot the Easter basket. Not only did I forget the Easter basket, but I realized I never even got him one. He was so little the year before I never picked one up. Superhero fail.
I immediately felt a sense of shame and frustration. I looked around and sheepishly raised my hand when the organizer asked who needed a ratty grocery store plastic bag for eggs. The scarlet letter that I dropped the ball.
If you are reading this and thinking you would NEVER do something like that let that be a reminder that the judgement you feel is your ego high fiving you that you are not “that” Mom. But the truth of that judgement is deep down you are relieved that you aren’t the only one out there who sometimes misses the mark.
The ego likes to make us feel more superior and set apart, but the truth is, we are all in this together trying our best to get it right.
How many times do we drop the ball and beat ourselves up for it? How many times do we compare ourselves to the DIY Moms who appear to have it all together and wish we could be more “perfect”?
I say stop the insanity! Who cares! Instead of being perfect, work on being perfectly YOU. You are the perfect Mom for your children because God chose you to be their Mom. No one can do it better than you. You are their first home, the first heart beat they hear and the first introduction to the world.
Do not waste your precious energy trying to be the perfect Mom. Be the perfect YOU. The best gift you can give your children and family is to care for yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Truly loving yourself and being able to give yourself a pass when you miss the mark is teaching your children how to have a sense of humor and be resilient. Loving and accepting yourself, warts and all, teaches your child how to have a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-acceptance.
Guess what, if you constantly shame and beat yourself up you are passing that right onto your kids. You are teaching them that love and acceptance is conditional and performance-based.
This Mother’s Day give yourself the gift of approval and acceptance. Know that you are doing the best you can with the tools you have and if you knew how to do better you would. Take it one day at a time and on the days your Superhero Cape malfunctions, shake it off and keep your sense of humor.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Meghan Fritz is a psychotherapist practicing in State College, PA. For more information email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
